Scientology’s Rev. John Carmichael To Anonymous: “I Smell Pussy” May 29, 2008

John Carmichael is the President of the Church of Scientology in New York. Like all Scientologists, Carmichael has superpowers and stuff. He doesn’t get colds, he can read minds (”with varying degrees of ability”), he could probably travel back in time if he really wanted to, he’s great with car accidents, and, most importantly: he can whiff out pussy (and closeted gays too, apparently) like it’s nobody else’s business!

“When Rev. John Carmichael, president of the Church of Scientology of New York, came face-to-face with a small contingent of Anonymous protestors this past Monday, he didn’t engage them in a spiritual debate. Instead, he leaned into one member on a Times Square street and said, ‘Let me tell you this: I smell pussy.’ Then, looking squarely at the Anon added, ‘You in particular.” - Village Voice

Before hopping back into his spaceship, Carmichael urged Anon to “come out of the closet!” So eloquent.

I don’t think we need to point out who won this round (one’s asking reasonable questions, the other is using 3rd grade misogynistic & homophobic retorts), but does Mr. Pussy Smeller remind anyone else of Willem Dafoe, the villainous character from various flicks we’ve all seen and loved? When they’re casting the lead for I Smell Pussy: The Movie, I sure hope Dafoe’s name comes up!

If you’d like to peacefully protest against $cientology with those CrazySexyCool (omg, TLC!) Anonymous kids, you can. The next protest is on June 14th. Who knows what your local Scientology leader will smell — be prepared for anything. I smell ass! I smell balls! I smell pussy — you in particular.

ETA: Oh, shit!

+15? The most thumbs up I’ve ever gotten on a YouTube comment was 9. That could’ve been me getting +15 if I’d only been quicker.

Medium-Sized ‘Sex And The City: The Movie’ Spoiler Video May 20, 2008

It’s not a huge spoiler, but it ain’t tiny either!

Above is a 48-second video clip from Sex and The City: The Movie (ugh, worst movie title ever - Comic Book Guy From The Simpsons). Like I said, it’s a medium-sized spoiler. It’s not going to ruin the movie but if you’re a strict SATC superfan, don’t watch it.

I watched it. Here are my thoughts: Miranda is the shit. Charlotte is still Charlotte. OMG, Carrie is talking with her mouth full in front of Charlotte! Where the hell is my G Samantha?

The movie hits theatres May 30.

I think the most amusing thing I’ve read related to this Sex and The City hoopla so far is Amelie Gillette’s post about Houlihan’s Sex and The City Wednesdays. Depressing stuff, but at least the poster board looks spiffy!

Ladytron — New “Ghosts” Music Video May 14, 2008

Here’s the music video for Ladytron’s new single “Ghosts.” I like it. And the song grows on you, trust.

Ladytron’s new album, Velocifero, will be released June 3.

If All Else Fails, I Can Be A Moving Body For N.E.R.D.!

I’ve been happily unemployed for a few months, but all good things must come to an end…

This morning after I exhausted myself by submitting four online job applications (let’s hope the actual jobs are less work than the application process because damn, I’m pooped — I feel like I need a vacation on top of the vacation I’m already on!), I decided to unwind by checking out N.E.R.D.’s performance of “Everyone Nose” from Monday’s Late Show With David Letterman.

I liked this song when it first leaked a couple of months ago, but I’m “over it” now. I’m only posting this because I need a job. Like, really really need a job. And when I was watching N.E.R.D. perform, I couldn’t help but notice those moving bodies creating an eyesore on stage with them. What are those guys (surely they’re not so bold as to refer to themselves as “dancers”) and how can I be one of them?

This is the exact type of job I’ve been looking for my entire life! One that requires little to no skill, one that will make me feel like a rock star — a job where all that’s required of me is to just show up.

If one of those moving bodies should fall victim to an unfortunate accident and lose the ability to move, I can start immediately.

EDIT: Hey, looky here: the new music video featuring America’s favorite coke addict, Lindsay Lohan.  Don’t blink or you might miss her.

Prince Covers Radiohead And The Beatles At Coachella April 27, 2008

Prince took the stage at the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival shortly after 11:00 P.M. Saturday, announcing to the crowd of thousands:

“Coachella, I am here.”

After announcing his (obvious) location, Prince was joined on stage by Morris Day for some “Jungle Love.” (Ed here: Oh-wee-oh-wee-oh – sorry, I couldn’t resist!)

Prince later surprised fans by covering Radiohead’s “Creep” and The Beatles‘ “Come Together.”

I can’t seem to find The Beatles’ cover on YouTube yet, but Prince definitely impressed with his Radiohead cover. In the above video clip, you can even hear someone in the crowd saying “Wow!” at the beginning of his performance.

Wow, indeed.

Eugene Mirman: ‘If Barack Obama Wins, Then Everyone In America Will Get To Say They Have A Black Friend’ April 18, 2008

Faux reporter (and real comedian) Eugene Mirman traveled to Pennsylvania for the Democratic Debates.

At last, a reporter who isn’t afraid to do whatever it takes to bring us the scoop!

[via 23/6]

New Lykke Li Video: I’m Good, I’m Gone April 16, 2008

Best female pop album of the year confirmed. Lykke Li rocks my world.

Milo & Otis + Sigur Rós = Awesome April 15, 2008

Adam Green Gone Wild! March 31, 2008

“I’m actually here in Germany to teach a course on how to have good breath.”

Adam Green did one helluva job promoting his new solo album, Sixes & Sevens, on Germany’s late-night show “TV total.” He was two parts drunk, one part tired, and five parts silly!

Awkward highlights from the interview:

When asked if he drank too much beer, Green says:

“No, this is daddy’s medicine.”

When asked to describe his new album:

“It’s sort of about fighting in the Iraq war and the stuff that I did overseas that I don’t want to remember.”

On the Hanson brothers:

“I met those guys when I was fighting in the Iraq war.”

On nothing in particular — seriously wtf?

“Rock ‘n’ roll is about missing that woman.”

On living in Japan:

“I used to live in Japan, but I don’t consider myself to be Japanese.”

After the interview, Green managed to perform “Morning After Midnight” without incident. CLICK HERE FOR PART 2!

‘Under The Umbrella Tree’ March 13, 2008

“Wonder why The Klaxons looked so out of it trying to mime alongside Rihanna at the Brits? They’d dropped some acid before the show. Respect.” - PopBitch