Scientology’s Rev. John Carmichael To Anonymous: “I Smell Pussy” May 29, 2008

John Carmichael is the President of the Church of Scientology in New York. Like all Scientologists, Carmichael has superpowers and stuff. He doesn’t get colds, he can read minds (”with varying degrees of ability”), he could probably travel back in time if he really wanted to, he’s great with car accidents, and, most importantly: he can whiff out pussy (and closeted gays too, apparently) like it’s nobody else’s business!

“When Rev. John Carmichael, president of the Church of Scientology of New York, came face-to-face with a small contingent of Anonymous protestors this past Monday, he didn’t engage them in a spiritual debate. Instead, he leaned into one member on a Times Square street and said, ‘Let me tell you this: I smell pussy.’ Then, looking squarely at the Anon added, ‘You in particular.” - Village Voice

Before hopping back into his spaceship, Carmichael urged Anon to “come out of the closet!” So eloquent.

I don’t think we need to point out who won this round (one’s asking reasonable questions, the other is using 3rd grade misogynistic & homophobic retorts), but does Mr. Pussy Smeller remind anyone else of Willem Dafoe, the villainous character from various flicks we’ve all seen and loved? When they’re casting the lead for I Smell Pussy: The Movie, I sure hope Dafoe’s name comes up!

If you’d like to peacefully protest against $cientology with those CrazySexyCool (omg, TLC!) Anonymous kids, you can. The next protest is on June 14th. Who knows what your local Scientology leader will smell — be prepared for anything. I smell ass! I smell balls! I smell pussy — you in particular.

ETA: Oh, shit!

+15? The most thumbs up I’ve ever gotten on a YouTube comment was 9. That could’ve been me getting +15 if I’d only been quicker.

Suppressive People: Anonymous Members Plan Monthly Protests Against The Church Of Scientology February 5, 2008

Tom Cruise exchanging a salute with Scientology’s ecclesiastical leader David Miscavige in 2004.

After hiding behind their computers for a couple of weeks, the anti-Scientology group “Anonymous” are taking it to the streets on Feb. 10. Anonymous members — from all over the world — will be protesting against Scientology at their churches and YOU’RE invited to join them this Sunday. Seriously, why go to your own church when you can be terrorizing another’s?

A woman who would not give her name (they don’t call themselves Anonymous for nothing!) told NBC11:

“The campaign is going amazingly — swimmingly at the moment. We are in the organizational stages. We are having members of Anonymous from all over the world join the protest at their local church of Scientology at 11 a.m. local time.

“Of the 24 time zones there are 17 that have a church located in them and we believe our protesting is happening in 15 of those 17. We have a map that people can log in to and say what protest they’re going to at the current moment. At last count we expect 300,000 at all the protests. Everyone in the world is invited. We’re trying to get support from local organizations.”

Anonymous plan to hold another large protest on March 15, which is two days after Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard’s birthday. Feel free to use this nifty Scientology church locator if you’re looking to join in on the fun!