Hello Kitty Airline, Airport, Soap Dispensers, Barf Bags May 2, 2008

Well apparently this isn’t new news but since I just learned of it a few minutes ago, it’s news to me and I’m really just at a loss for words.

There are actual Hello Kitty airplanes that fly in and out of cute, cuddly, cartoonishly-feline airports that carry on board chairs, soap, food, people, entertainment, sugar, napkins, toothpicks, and barf bags bedecked with the white, bow-adorned Hello Kitty that apparently has reached idol-worshipping proportions. No, really. God should be getting worried. I understand that there’s a pretty major commandment regarding having no false idols or something along those lines - are there airplanes bedecked with His image*? That within it contain chairs, soap, food, people, entertainment, sugar, napkins, toothpicks, and barf bags also bedecked with His image?

I wonder how Hello Kitty feels about gay marriage.

Also, apparently I’m not at a loss for words.

*Such airplanes/airports/in-flight accessories do not exist. I googled both “jesus airline” and “god airline” and the only results worth noting were an article about a pilot promoting Christianity on a flight (American spokesman: “That would be against our policy”), and an article explaining that officials at Nepal’s state-run airline sacrificed two goats to appease the hindu sky god. The only conclusions I can draw from this are as follows:

• There are no airlines to my knowledge bedecked in God’s image
• Too bad that pilot wasn’t in Nepal, he probably would have gotten a kick out of the goat-sacrificing
• I’ve had too much to drink tonight

The Vines Are Releasing A ‘Best Of’ Album, I Remember Those Guys… March 10, 2008

Do you remember the year 2002? I do, I do, I do! As much as I hate to admit it now, I was working in the Jewelry Department of a Wal-Mart Supercenter back then. Em-barr-ass-ing. Even so, I still fancied myself a music snob. I was the first and only teen at my high school who owned Is This It and I took pride in that (as it was the only thing for me to take pride in back then).

One night/early morning in 2002, I was watching MTV at 3AM when I saw the music video for The Vines‘ “Get Free.” The next day when I went into work, I decided to buy The Vines’ Highly Evolved CD (remember, it’s 2002 — people still paid for music back then). I listened to the disc over and over for about a month (it was a pretty good album) and, just like Kelly Osbourne, I took a strong liking to front man Craig Nicholls. But come 2003, I had forgotten all about The Vines and their stoned, dreamy front man.

The band (apparently) went on without my support though.  The Vines have released two albums since Highly Evolved (where was I!?) and in May they’ll have their very own ‘Best Of’ compilation disc.  Fancy, fancy.  Also, memories.

Yoko Ono And Lennon Come Together? February 14, 2008

Yesterday the entire world thought Yoko Ono was being an ass for suing hard-rock singer Lennon Murphy over the trademark for the name “Lennon.” Julian Lennon even used his myspace blog to let everyone know that Lennon has his full support.

Here are some choice quotes from Lennon’s statement regarding the lawsuit:

“I’m not sure what confusion I could be causing since I don’t have the $50,000 to hire a lawyer and fight this. If people were confusing me with John Lennon and accidently [sic] buying my records I should have more than enough money to live my life and hire a lawyer? I wish that was the case. I haven’t worked since Oct. 2007, so I live on just enough to get through the months until I get back on the road. I have no idea what I’m going to do yet in this situation, and I’m stressed, angry, and scared.

“This is my life. I have no respect for the name Murphy. It was my father’s name we will leave it at that. I have represented myself as Lennon because this is my name. That was the name that meant so much to my mother . . .

“…I play music, my name is Lennon, and the most heartbreaking thing out of this whole situation is the insult it gives to my late mother and who she believed in; on top of demeaning the man that John Lennon was and will always be… “

I have to admit I got a little teary eyed reading Lennon’s statement the other day. (No, it’s not “that time.”) But when I opened my newsreader this morning, I was delighted to find this statement from Ms. Ono:

“I am really hurt if people thought that I told a young artist to not use her own name in her performances and had sought to sue her. I did no such thing. I hope this allegation will be cleared.”

Long story short: Yoko is not suing Lennon — just giving her band a ton of free publicity right now. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Bizarre News Story Of The Day: Drunken Orgies Tainted Prison System February 12, 2008

Via CNN:  “The connection between the softball and the orgy parties and the corruption and the beatings was greatly intertwined.”