A Gender Anomaly Of The Feline Kind (Or, Help Me Name The Kitten Formerly Known As Roxy) June 5, 2008

How did I go two weeks without noticing that my precious princess Roxy has balls? And not in the figurative, “Oh, she’s so fiesty!” kind of way, either. No, they’re really there. Tiny little furry balls. This upsets me only because I fucking love the name ‘Roxy’. But it also explains that highly masculine “I have a penis” trot she’s been doing.

I’m open to suggestions for good names for an extremely energetic 8 week old kitten who jumps around like a jumping bean or a kangaroo, likes sleeping on my face (literally), and takes great interest in decade-old adventures on the good old Enterprise-D (particularly the episodes involving Worf). Uh… engage!

EDIT: Roxy is now Bean. Meet Bean/Beanie/Crazyface.

What’s The Deal With Women And Yogurt? May 21, 2008

Shoe shopping and yogurt and big diamond rings, these are a few of my favorite things…

If you’re a woman, the highlight of your day is slipping into those comfy sweatpants (don’t forget the matching zip-up hooded sweatshirt!), plopping your ass on the sofa, and shoveling yogurt in your face whilst making “Mmmm, ohhh yeah… YUM!” noises. If one of your girls is over, the two of you will go back and forth, arguing over how good the yogurt is. You know what I’m talking about, ladies.

One time my friend was like, “Mmm, this is, like, James Dean good!” And I was like, “It’s so good that I want to jerk off allover my face!” And then she was like, “This is like… just got my period, thank God I’m not pregnant good!” That’s when I slapped her and pulled a chunk of her hair out, because I knew I’d never top that one.

Oh, women. The things we do to prove how much we love our yogurt!

[Current]